Three on a Theme - Loss of Friends (MG)
Losing a friend is never easy, whether it is due to a sudden disagreement or a slow drifting apart. Perhaps the death of a friendship is made even harder when it is caused by the death of a friend. Friendships for children and teens are incredibly important bonds that build social and emotional awareness. If a child's first real experience with death comes because of a lost friend, this can be especially traumatic.
There are three middle grades books for "big kids" that have brought some comfort and closure to students of mine who have lost friendships by one means or another. In this post, I'll discuss how Katherine Paterson's Bridge to Terabithia, Kevin Henkes Olive's Ocean, and Ali Benjamin's The Thing About Jellyfish all address the difficult topic of dealing with the traumatic loss of the death of a friend. My hope is that reading these books will give my students a way to connect with confusing feelings of guilt and hopelessness and sorrow in a time when they may feel no one understands.
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Jess doesn't give up easily. He's been practicing early every morning, racing through the wet fields, to become the fastest runner in all of the fifth grade. And he is too, until the new girl, Leslie, beats him. Instead of this destroying a friendship, however, Jess is impressed with his new neighbor and they begin to spend time together in the woods. Inspired by Leslie's reading of The Chronicles of Narnia, the two invent a world they call Terabithia where Leslie and Jess and Leslie's dog, Prince Caspian, are royalty. They all cross into Terabithia by swinging over a creek with a rope tied to a tree branch.
One day after a heavy rain, Leslie tries to cross into Terabithia alone where she thinks she will meet Jess. She doesn't know that Jess has joined his favorite teacher on a trip to a museum. When Leslie drowns in the swollen creek, Jess is heavy with survivor's guilt, convincing himself he could have prevented Leslie's death if only he had invited her to go with him on the trip. The adults in Jess's life, his teacher, Leslie's parents, and Jess's parents, help him work through his grief, but it is Prince Caspian and Jess's little sister who he introduces to Terabithia help him finally come to terms with the death of his friend and keep her memory alive.
Olive's Ocean by Kevin Henkes
Although Matha and Olive were in the same class, Martha wouldn't call Olive a friend. That is until Olive's mother hands Martha a page from Olive's journal, one she wrote only a short time before she was killed suddenly by a car. Martha is haunted by what Olive wrote: that Matha Boyle "is the nicest person in my whole entire class" even though Martha cannot think of anything especially nice that she ever did for Olive. Through her journal page, Martha discovers that both she and Olive want to be writers, both love the ocean even though Olive's never got to see it, and both, like everyone else on the planet, can have their lives changed in an instant.
As Martha and her family spend their summer vacation at Cape Cod, twelve-year-old Martha has to deal with her first kiss, her first betrayal, and maybe her first real boyfriend. She also has to navigate her changing relationship with Godbee, her grandmother. Throughout her time at the Cape, Martha keeps thinking about Olive who never got to see the ocean. When Martha nearly drowns, she understands that even though things seem still, everything is always changing. In the end, Martha must make peace with the changes life brings, both the quick and the slow changes, and although they never got the chance to say good-bye, Martha finds a way to bring Olive the ocean.
The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin
Suzy's used-to-be best friend, Franny, couldn't have drowned. Franny was a strong swimmer, better than anyone else that first day the girls met at the side of the pool. Suzy's mom said some things just happen, but Suzy is determined to uncover the real reason Franny died...and the real reason their friendship fell apart. During a class trip to the Boston Aquarium, Suzy realizes the ethereal and deadly Irukandji jellyfish just might be the reason someone as gifted as Franny could have died.
As Suzy begins her research project for her 7th-grade science teacher, she lays out a case for how a jellyfish stole her used-to-be best friend, and how growing up stole her best friend in the first place. Considering that Suzy has begun not talking, which is the opposite of the constant talking she used to do, thinking Franny was killed by a jellyfish makes perfect sense in Suzy's mind. So does planning a trip to Australia to visit the world's leading researcher on the Irukandji jellyfish. Everything makes sense...until it doesn't. It's only after a long struggle through her grief Suzy realizes that not talking about something, especially a big thing like losing your best friend, only makes a person more alone.
There are three middle grades books for "big kids" that have brought some comfort and closure to students of mine who have lost friendships by one means or another. In this post, I'll discuss how Katherine Paterson's Bridge to Terabithia, Kevin Henkes Olive's Ocean, and Ali Benjamin's The Thing About Jellyfish all address the difficult topic of dealing with the traumatic loss of the death of a friend. My hope is that reading these books will give my students a way to connect with confusing feelings of guilt and hopelessness and sorrow in a time when they may feel no one understands.
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Jess doesn't give up easily. He's been practicing early every morning, racing through the wet fields, to become the fastest runner in all of the fifth grade. And he is too, until the new girl, Leslie, beats him. Instead of this destroying a friendship, however, Jess is impressed with his new neighbor and they begin to spend time together in the woods. Inspired by Leslie's reading of The Chronicles of Narnia, the two invent a world they call Terabithia where Leslie and Jess and Leslie's dog, Prince Caspian, are royalty. They all cross into Terabithia by swinging over a creek with a rope tied to a tree branch.
One day after a heavy rain, Leslie tries to cross into Terabithia alone where she thinks she will meet Jess. She doesn't know that Jess has joined his favorite teacher on a trip to a museum. When Leslie drowns in the swollen creek, Jess is heavy with survivor's guilt, convincing himself he could have prevented Leslie's death if only he had invited her to go with him on the trip. The adults in Jess's life, his teacher, Leslie's parents, and Jess's parents, help him work through his grief, but it is Prince Caspian and Jess's little sister who he introduces to Terabithia help him finally come to terms with the death of his friend and keep her memory alive.
Olive's Ocean by Kevin Henkes
Although Matha and Olive were in the same class, Martha wouldn't call Olive a friend. That is until Olive's mother hands Martha a page from Olive's journal, one she wrote only a short time before she was killed suddenly by a car. Martha is haunted by what Olive wrote: that Matha Boyle "is the nicest person in my whole entire class" even though Martha cannot think of anything especially nice that she ever did for Olive. Through her journal page, Martha discovers that both she and Olive want to be writers, both love the ocean even though Olive's never got to see it, and both, like everyone else on the planet, can have their lives changed in an instant.
As Martha and her family spend their summer vacation at Cape Cod, twelve-year-old Martha has to deal with her first kiss, her first betrayal, and maybe her first real boyfriend. She also has to navigate her changing relationship with Godbee, her grandmother. Throughout her time at the Cape, Martha keeps thinking about Olive who never got to see the ocean. When Martha nearly drowns, she understands that even though things seem still, everything is always changing. In the end, Martha must make peace with the changes life brings, both the quick and the slow changes, and although they never got the chance to say good-bye, Martha finds a way to bring Olive the ocean.
The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin
Suzy's used-to-be best friend, Franny, couldn't have drowned. Franny was a strong swimmer, better than anyone else that first day the girls met at the side of the pool. Suzy's mom said some things just happen, but Suzy is determined to uncover the real reason Franny died...and the real reason their friendship fell apart. During a class trip to the Boston Aquarium, Suzy realizes the ethereal and deadly Irukandji jellyfish just might be the reason someone as gifted as Franny could have died.
As Suzy begins her research project for her 7th-grade science teacher, she lays out a case for how a jellyfish stole her used-to-be best friend, and how growing up stole her best friend in the first place. Considering that Suzy has begun not talking, which is the opposite of the constant talking she used to do, thinking Franny was killed by a jellyfish makes perfect sense in Suzy's mind. So does planning a trip to Australia to visit the world's leading researcher on the Irukandji jellyfish. Everything makes sense...until it doesn't. It's only after a long struggle through her grief Suzy realizes that not talking about something, especially a big thing like losing your best friend, only makes a person more alone.
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